Marriage: It’s changing nature.

Ms. Suman Sourav,

III- Semester, Hidayatullah National Law University, Raipur Chhattisgarh

ABSTRACT:

Marriage is a universal phenomenon, recognized in every society and in all generations. With the march of the society from ancient group life to the modern complex world passing through the medieval period, its nature and implication have undergone considerable changes. In the era of technological revolution and globalization, values and practices of one society naturally peculate to others. In my essay I have incorporated a meaning of marriage, major categories of marriage, various nomenclatures it has gained in different societies and different cultures, some unique marriage practices, modern societies and relevance of marriage. I have also briefly discussed on the Hindu concept of marriage incorporating views of some prominent personalities wherever felt appropriate. I believe, this article will be helpful to students of sociology and all those who are interest on the subject.

INTRODUCTION:

Marriage is one of those institutions that distinguish society from simply a herd of human beings. The word marriage is derived from the Latin word ‘maritus’ meaning husband and the word matrimony is derived from the Latin word ‘mater’ meaning mother. More enlightening is the Germanic word "wedlock," probably adopted from Old English wedlac meaning pledge, which suggests that some sort of promise or contract, i.e., a special relationship between people is involved. Indeed, the best characterization of this relationship is perhaps provided by the German word Ehe which means law.

Marriage is a very special phenomenon which involves more than natural human activities like housekeeping, sexual intercourse, and procreation. Its real meaning derives instead from social sanctions and expectations. Indeed, as such expectations change from one society to another and from one generation to another, marriage is bound to change with them. It is not always authentic to trace back the origin of marriage as an institution but precisely we can infer that marriage might have become the part of social life of human being the time they started a group life. With the passage of time it has developed and institutionalized itself as an indispensable form of social relationship world over. It seems much more promising to list and describe the possible forms and functions of marriage, and for our present limited purpose it is perhaps best if we begin with a simple classification.

Traditionally, scholars through out the world have used and distinguished between four basic types of marriage:

1.     Monogamy (i.e., one husband having one wife),
2.     (Polygamy:) polygyny (i.e., one husband having several wives),
3.     (Polygamy:) polyandry (i.e., several husbands having one wife),
4.     Group marriage (i.e., several husbands having several wives).

Monogamy, polygyny, polyandry and group marriage are some of the marriage contracts used throughout the world. The version of marriage allowed in a society traditionally was mostly dependant on the geographical location, religious make-up of the society, availability of males and females and economic status of the society.

Monogamy is the prevalent form of marriage today. Monogamy is generally divided into two different types; strict monogamy where a person is allowed only one spouse per lifetime and serial monogamy where people can be married to more than one person - but not at the same time. There are also several specialized types of monogamous marriages that involve cousins; bilateral, matrilateral, patrilateral and parallel cousin marriage.

Polygyny and polyandry (collectively called polygamy) were once practiced in various parts of the world, but now seem to be on the decline. Polyandry is where a woman can have more than one husband at the same time and is generally divided into fraternal polyandry (where the husbands are brothers) and non-fraternal polyandry (where the husbands are not related). Polygyny is the practice of a man having multiple wives simultaneously and has been historically the most popular form of marriage. A specialized version is called sororal polygyny where all the wives of a man are sisters.

Polygynandry is group marriage that involves multiple men married to multiple women simultaneously. Group marriage has always been rare.

Levirate and sororate are other types of marriage that can be either polygynous or monogamous depending on how many spouses are involved at the time.

Different societies have witnessed different types of marriages falling under any of these four categories. These classifications and inherent several practices in each form may be sufficient to show that the subject of marriage is too complex for easy generalizations. The precise nature of the marital union itself is elusive, and its role in society varies with changing conditions. Thus, no single definition can capture all conceivable meanings of marriage or fit all of its forms. Still, we may obtain at least some limited insight, if we put the issue in some historical and cross-cultural perspective. The following pages, therefore, briefly sketch the past development and present state of marriage in Western and a few non-Western societies. A concluding section offers some speculations about the future.

In Victorian times it was often believed that the four basic types of marriage were representative of different stages of human evolution. Thus, the earliest human beings had supposedly lived in a state of indiscriminate promiscuity until they established some form of group marriage. On the next stage of civilization they then entered a matriarchal phase characterized by polyandry. This, in turn, was followed by the patriarchal phase in which polygyny became dominant, and finally monogamy emerged as the crowning achievement of human progress. So far, this beguiling theory has not been confirmed, however. On the contrary, we have learned in the meantime that all four types of marriage have existed since earliest times and under all sorts of technological and economic conditions. Some very "primitive" peoples have always practiced monogamy, while some "civilized" peoples have been and still are polygamous. Moreover, we now understand that each of the four basic types of marriage can appear in several variations. For example, there is quite a difference between monogamy as a lifelong sacramental union and monogamy as a temporary civil contract. Polygyny can mean very different things under different circumstances, such as when a man takes a concubine, or when he marries his brother's widow, or when all his wives are sisters and live under his roof, or when they come from different families and maintain their own separate households. Polyandry can mean that a woman marries several brothers, of whom only the oldest is the official father of her children, or it can mean that she marries several unrelated men who all enjoy equal rights. Group marriage can be the accidental outgrowth of polygamous practices or a conscious "scientific" experiment.

Still, today there is little doubt that monogamy in one variation or another has always been the most common type of marriage. Both group marriage and polyandry have been found only in very few cultures, and polygyny, although permitted in many societies, has almost always been restricted to the wealthier classes. After all, it has never been cheap to purchase and then support more than one wife. Sometimes, of course, wives earned more than their keep as laborers, but even in that case their husband had to be powerful and influential, or he could not have created such an advantage for himself. The other men would have insisted on the same privilege, and this could not have been granted, because "naturally" there is only about one woman for every man. The biological balance between males and females is nearly even, and therefore polygamy can flourish only under exceptional conditions. Such conditions may result from a custom of female infanticide, from frequent wars, in which many men are killed, or from political and religious beliefs that accord a few persons some special prestige. However, where conditions are "normal", and where people are given a fairly equal chance, they tend to favor monogamy.

In view of this fact, one might perhaps call monogamy the "natural" form of marriage, although one should not conclude that everyone will always be happy with it, or that it is practical in every situation. Indeed, even in societies which insist on the strictest monogamy there is often an unofficial toleration of premarital and extramarital intercourse, such as in prostitution, adultery, and homosexual contact. Other societies are still more tolerant and establish monogamy as a flexible or "open" institution from the very start. In addition, they may also permit ready divorces in case of marital failure. At any rate, experience seems to show that one cannot impose a single form of monogamy, or even a single type of marriage on all men and women everywhere. One can, of course, proclaim an ideal, but in real life one has to allow for some improvisation and experimentation.

Types of marriages practiced in different societies:

Arranged marriage - A marriage that is at some level arranged by someone other than those being married generally by parents, family members or friends.

Gandharva Vivah: This type of marriage is done by mere exchange of garlands by man and woman without any religious rituals. This type of marriage was prevalent in ancient India and even today and recognized by law.

Beena marriage - A marriage where the husband and wife are completely independent of one another, whenever the wife enters a special tent.

Boston marriage - A marriage-like relationship between two women, not necessarily sexual; also historic lesbian relationships.

Child marriage - A practice in which the parents of two small children (even infants) arrange marriage which acts as contract between two families and socially obligatory for the girl and the boy to lead the life of wife and husband in future.

Chinese ghost marriage/Spirit marriage - A marriage where one or both parties are deceased.

Common-law marriage - A form of interpersonal status that is legally recognized in some jurisdictions as a marriage even though no legally recognized marriage ceremony is performed or civil marriage contract is entered into or the marriage registered in a civil registry. It is like the Gandharva Vivah prevalent in Hindu society.

Covenant marriage - A marriage in which the couple agrees to obtain pre-marital counseling before marrying, and accept more limited grounds for divorce.

Endogamous - A marriage within the boundaries of the domestic group, between members of the same group.

Exogamous - A marriage outside of the domestic group, between members of different groups.

Female husband marriage - A marriage in which a female who has been raised as male takes a wife in order to ensure the continuity of the family.

Fleet Marriage - The best-known example of an irregular or a clandestine marriage taking place in England before 1753.

Flash marriage - A speedy marriage between couples.

Forced marriage - A marriage in which one or more of the parties is married without his/her consent or against his/her will..

Marriage by abduction - A form of forced marriage in which a woman who is kidnapped and raped by a man is regarded as his wife. There are numerous example of such marriages prevalent during the Ramayana and Mahabharata period and even during pre-independent India. Even the same practice is in prevalence today in some societies.

Group marriage - A form of polygamous marriage in which more than one man and more than one woman form a family unit, and all members of the marriage share parental responsibility for any children arising from the marriage.

Line marriage - A form of group marriage in which the family unit continues to add new spouses of both sexes over time so that the marriage does not end.

Handfasting - A traditional European ceremony of marriage or betrothal, commonly practiced by Neopagans today, which may or may not result in a legally recognized marriage.

Heqin - An arranged marriage for political alliance during Medieval China.

Hollywood marriage - A marriage between Hollywood celebrities or a marriage that is of short duration and quickly ends in separation or divorce.

Human-animal marriage - A marriage between a human and a non-human animal.

Intermarriage or Mixed marriage - Marriage between people belonging to different religions, tribes, nationalities or ethnic backgrounds.

Interracial marriage - Marriage between two people of differing races.

Interreligious marriage - Marriage (either religious or civil) between partners professing different religions.

Jumping the broom A Romani wedding custom once performed by gypsies; Welsh Kale, Scottish Travellers and English Romanichal groups in the United Kingdom.

Lavender marriage - A marriage between a man and a woman in which one, or both, parties are, or are assumed to be, homosexual.

Levirate marriage - A marriage in which a woman marries one of her husband's brothers after her husband's death, if there were no children, in order to continue his line. It is a specialized version of polygamy where a man marries the widow of his dead brother. It comes from the Latin word "levir" that means "husband's brother". This practice helped maintain and reinforce family connections and alliances created by marriages. Levirate was described extensively in the Christian Bible and used mostly by ancient Hebrews. In both Hebrew society children born from the levirate marriage were considered descendants of the first (usually older) brother. This was important for first born son inheritance. In southern Sudan, their custom is called "ghost marriage". If a man dies without a male heir his widow may be married to his brother. Children from this marriage are considered descendants of the first brother.

Love marriage - A marriage where the basis for the marriage is love.

Mixed-orientation marriage - A heterosexual marriage where one spouse is gay, lesbian or bisexual.

Monogamy - Marriage with one spouse exclusively for life or for a period of time.

Mop marriage - An archaic common-law practice in which a couple could be joined by a local magistrate at the annual Mop Fair.

Morganatic marriage - A marriage which can be contracted in certain countries, usually between persons of unequal social rank, which prevents the passage of the husband's titles and privileges to the wife and any children born of the marriage.

Multiple marriages:Polygamy

Polyandry - The marriage of one wife to several husbands.

Fraternal polyandry is a variant in which the husbands are brothers. The marriage of Droupadi to Five Pandava Brothers in Mahabharat is an example of such marriage.

Polygyny - The marriage of one husband to several wives.

Nikah mut‘ah - A fixed-term marriage in Shi'a Islam.

Open marriage - A marriage in which the partners agree that each is free to engage in extramarital sexual relationships, without regarding this as sexual infidelity.

Plaçage - A recognized extralegal system in which white French and Spanish and later Creole men entered into the equivalent of common-law marriages with women of African, Indian and white (European) Creole descent.

Posthumous marriage - A marriage which occurs after one of the individuals is deceased.

Putative marriage - An apparently valid marriage, entered into in good faith on part of at least one of the partners, which is invalid because of an impediment.

Same-sex marriage - A marriage between two people who are of the same sex.

Serial monogamy - Marriage to one spouse at a time.

Sexless marriage - A marriage in which there is no sex between the two partners.

Shim-pua marriage - A Taiwanese tradition of arranged marriage, in which a poor family (burdened by too many children) would sell a young daughter to a richer family for labour, and in exchange, the poorer family would be married into the richer family, through the daughter.

Sister exchange - The husbands trade sisters to be each other's wives in order to keep any group from losing a woman.

Sororate marriage - A marriage in which a man marries his wife's sister, usually after the wife is dead or has proved infertile. This has been practiced by the Maricopa Indians of Arizona where they replaced the deceased wife with one of her sisters.

Traditional marriage - A term used by social conservatives to describe only monogamous opposite sex marriages.

Trial marriage - A situation were the couples agree to stay together without formalising or legalising the relationship as they wait to see whether it is going to work out.

Walking marriage - A practice of a matrifocal group in which the woman accepts her lover each evening, but he departs in the morning to work in his mother's household.

Widow inheritance - The widow may have the right to require her late husband's extended family to provide her with a new man; more commonly, she is obliged to marry the one they choose.

Yogic marriage - A tradition of Hindu marriage done within Shavite Sadhaks and Sadhvis, to enable them to get positive energy from yajnans and homas.

Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships, Gay Marriage:

A civil union is a legal entity that offers same-sex couples the same legal rights and benefits as marriage. Civil union laws have been adopted in many countries including America and India.

California allows domestic partnerships for same-sex couples and for opposite-sex couples in which one partner is at least 62 years old, and many employers and universities offer domestic partnership benefits as well. Like civil unions, domestic partnerships offer many of the same legal benefits that opposite-sex married couples receive, including inheritance and hospital visitation rights. Besides California, domestic partnerships are allowed in New York City, Maine and the District of Columbia.

Currently same-sex marriage or Gay Marriage though illegal in most of the societies, some countries have accepted this form of marriage as legal and in America some states, cities and employers offer marriage benefits to same-sex partners, such as in the form of civil unions.

Some Unique Marriage practices:

Some parts of India follow a custom in which the groom is required to marry with an auspicious plant called Tulsi or A tree called Sahada before marriage to overcome inauspicious predictions about the health of the husband. This also applies if the prospective wife is considered to be 'bad luck' or a 'bad omen' or ‘mangali’ astrologically. One should note that this is not a norm found across the entire Indian sub-continent.

In the state of Kerala, India, the Nambudiri Brahmin caste traditionally practiced henogamy, in which only the eldest son in each family was permitted to marry. The younger children could have sambandha (temporary relationship) with Kshatriya or Nair women. This is no longer practiced, and in general the Nambudiri Brahmin men marry only from the Nambudiri caste and Nair women prefer to be married to Nair men.

Tibetan fraternal polyandry follows a similar pattern, in which multiple sons in a family all marry the same wife, so the family property is preserved; leftover daughters either become celibate Buddhist nuns or independent households. It was formerly practiced in Tibet and nearby Himalayan areas, and while it was discouraged by the Chinese after their conquest of the region, it is becoming more common again.

In Mormonism, a couple may seal their marriage "for time and for all eternity" through a "sealing" ceremony conducted within LDS Temples. The couple is then believed to be bound to each other in marriage throughout eternity if they live according to their covenants made in the ceremony. Mormonism also allows living persons to act as proxies in the sealing ceremony to "seal" a marriage between ancestors who have been dead for at least one year and who were married during their lifetime. According to LDS theology, it is then up to the deceased individuals to accept or reject this sealing in the spirit world before their eventual resurrection. A living person can also be sealed to his or her deceased spouse, with another person (of the same sex as the deceased) acting as proxy for that deceased individual.

One society that traditionally did without marriage entirely was that of the Na of Yunnan province in southern China. According to anthropologist Cia Hua, sexual liaisons among the Na took place in the form of "visits" initiated by either men or women, each of whom might have two or three partners each at any given time (and as many as two hundred throughout a lifetime). The nonexistence of fathers in the Na family unit was consistent with their practice of matrilineality and matrilocality, in which siblings and their offspring lived with their maternal relatives. In recent years, the Chinese state has encouraged the Na to acculturate to the monogamous marriage norms of greater China. Such programs have included land grants to monogamous Na families, conscription (in the 1970s, couples were rounded up in villages ten or twenty at a time and issued marriage licenses), legislation declaring frequent sexual partners married and outlawing "visits", and the withholding of food rations from children who could not identify their fathers. Many of these measures were relaxed in favor of educational approaches after Deng Xiaoping came into power in 1981. See also the Mosuo ethnic minority of China and their practice of walking marriage.

Marriage: Sacrosant or a Contract:

It is evident from the foregoing that marriage contracts are neither new nor typical to any society. Many societies all over the world have known written marriage agreements, if not between bride and bridegroom, then between their respective families. Indeed, in feudal times a marriage contract could seal an alliance between whole tribes or nations. At present, such motives are still formalized on a more modest scale by our own upper classes. Thus, marriage contracts are customary where the possible loss or consolidation of huge family fortunes is involved. After all, in these cases the marriage could well determine the fate not only of two, but perhaps dozens or hundreds of individuals. Still, as a rule, these contracts cover only externals, such as dowry, allowances, financial settlements, inheritance, etc. They rarely say anything about marital conduct in the proper sense and do not concern themselves with questions of intimacy. Therefore, they are in fact mere safeguards by the society. This elementary difference has not always been clearly perceived. On the contrary, the fact that marital unions may be protected or guided by contracts and even contain some contractive elements, has led some modern observers to believe that marriage itself is a contract and nothing more. This view also seems to be supported by certain customs and regulations in other cultures. For example, Islamic law explicitly defines marriage (nikah) as "a contract for the legalization of sexual intercourse and the procreation of children". As such, it is strictly a private matter, requires no religious ceremony, and can be terminated under certain conditions. However, this definition was never meant to be exhaustive and should not be read dogmatically. After all, the custom of mut'ah marriages indicates that the procreation of children need not be essential to the contract. Furthermore, since it has been possible in Islamic countries for fathers to contract compulsory marriages for their unwilling daughters, it cannot be assumed that the contracting parties are always bridegroom and bride. Similarly, in early medieval Europe, where marriage was a transfer of lordship over a woman from her father to her husband, the bride was not herself party to the contract, but rather its object. Her lot improved only under the influence of the Church, which gave marriage a religious meaning and elevated it to status of a sacrament. In Hindu culture marriage is viewed some thing divine and thereby recognized as more sacrosanct.

Needless to say, once marriage had been endowed with a sacramental character, it could no longer be called a contract in any sense of the word. First of all, it was now a vehicle of grace, and thus its essence lay not in any formal stipulations, but in the mutual decision of both partners which made them "one flesh". In Hindu society, wife is called “Ardhangini” or the better half and wife and husband constitute single and complete human being. This reduced both the influence of parents and the importance of economic considerations. As a result, for a while even secret marriages were permitted. Secondly, since the marital relationship carries with itself a divine sanction it could not be dissolved: "What God has joined together, let not man put asunder". However, this latter change eventually came to be resented in the Christian belief, and therefore the Protestant Reformation returned to the concept of marriage as a civil contract, making it once again possible for Christians to obtain a divorce. In Puritan England, John Milton called marriage a "covenant" which need not bind the parties forever.

In the 18th century, the German bourgeois philosopher Immanuel Kant felt enlightened enough to put the matter in its baldest terms when he defined marriage as "an association of two persons of different sex for the life-long mutual possession of their sexual qualities". Much could be said about this definition, but here we can simply point out that it is obviously not universal. The references to "two" persons and a "lifelong" mutual possession indicate that only a special form of Western marriage is being considered. Moreover, it should be noted that there is no mention of any contract. After all, irrevocable personal contracts are out of harmony with the modern demands for individual freedom. The lifelong possession of one human being by another is now alien to our whole system of justice. People can no longer legally sell themselves as slaves or buy someone else as a servant for life. Much less are such contracts acceptable in the case of marriage. Indeed, even in ancient Rome marital vows never to separate were invalid before the law. Therefore, the "association" mentioned by Kant must be more than just a legal agreement.

However, it should be apparent that even our contemporary, soluble marriage can never be fully described as a contract. The unique personal relationship that exists between spouses cannot be created, shaped, and maintained by written provisions, clauses, or codicils, or by signatures on some dotted line. This relationship is so intimate that no comprehensive and binding contract could possibly be devised for it. Even simple common sense tells bridegroom and bride not to approach each other in a legalistic spirit, so as not to doom their marriage from the start. On the other hand, they also know that, once a marriage has foundered, it cannot be saved by the law.

Changing views:

Getting married is still popular in every part of the world, with most people marrying at some point in their lives. However, the social role and meaning of marriage has changed. The traditional view of marriage, as the gateway to adulthood and independence, has become less prevalent over the last generation. A One Plus One study of marriage in the early 1980s showed that the attractiveness of marriage lay partly in the fact that it provided a ‘package of rights’, guaranteeing immediate transition to adulthood. Today, it is more socially acceptable in western countries for couples to begin a sexual relationship, set up home, and have children outside formal marriage. Evidence from the British Social Attitudes Survey suggests that all age groups have changed their views. However, rather than attitudes changing markedly with age, peoples’ views are largely shaped by the influences of the social climate within which they have grown up. For example, there are dramatic differences between the views of those aged 55 and above and younger people. The most notable shifts in attitudes are among 35 to 54 years olds. Traditional views are more likely to be held by religious and married people. Differences in educational background are also indicators of differences in attitudes: those without qualifications hold more traditional views than those with them. However, those with higher educational qualifications are more traditional in their outlook than those with lower qualifications.

Emerging patterns: Analysis of a Survey:

As reported in the British Social Attitudes Survey of the western societies, Between 1984 and 2000, the proportion of people thinking there is ‘nothing wrong’ with pre-marital sex increased from 42% to 62%, while the proportion thinking it to be always wrong decreased from 17% to 9%. It is increasingly uncommon for first sexual intercourse to take place within marriage. In 2000, around two-thirds of people saw cohabitation as perfectly acceptable—in fact, over half thought it was ‘a good idea’ for couples intending to get married. More than 70% of first partnerships are now cohabitations. 73% of people aged under 35 and living in cohabiting unions expect to marry each other—about one in eight never expect to marry. 4. 85% of people aged 65 or above think that marriage and parenthood should go hand in hand, compared with just over a third of 18-to 24-year-olds. However, even among the most traditional groups, views about the relationship between marriage and parenthood have changed2. In 1989, almost 75% of the population believed that ‘people who want children ought to get married’. Five years later, in 1994, this had fallen to 57%; now, just over half the population subscribe to this view.2 In 2003, just over 40% of births were outside marriage5, more than four times the proportion in 1975.

Marriage as the Ideal:

The British survey shows that, when presented with a range of lifestyles to choose from, 68% of those questioned chose ‘being married and with children’ as their preferred lifestyle, and 77% disagreed with the statement that ‘marriage is dead’. Young people also reaffirm the symbolic significance of marriage. A survey exploring young people’s lives in Britain today found that only 4% agreed with the statement ‘Marriage is old-fashioned and no longer relevant’ and 89% said that they would like to get married at some time in the future. However, findings from the British Social Attitudes Survey suggest that, whilst marriage is still widely valued as an ideal, it is regarded with much more ambivalence in terms of everyday partnering and parenting. Analysis of marriage expectations suggests that cohabiting couples are less likely to marry their present partner once they have had a baby. A larger proportion of women with children than childless women (60% compared with 45%) never wish to marry their present partner, and the results are similar for men (66% compared with 47%). Ermisch (2000) suggests that this may partly be explained by the uncertainty some couples have about making a commitment. Couples unsure about marrying each other are more likely to have a child in a cohabiting union, while cohabiting couples who plan to marry, marry first and then have children. Further analysis of data on marriage expectations suggests that 15-20% of never-married, childless people aged between 16 and 35 do not expect to marry at all.

Changing emphases: ‘Institutional’ vs. ‘Relational’:

Romantic love is usually portrayed in western culture as the single most important motive for marriage. Nevertheless, through various research it has been found that many factors inspire newlyweds to marry—a gradual feeling of disillusionment about being single, fears of growing old alone, and perceptions that they were now ‘ready’ for marriage—as much as the desire for matrimony. Morgan (1992), along with other commentators, sees the nature of marriage as moving from an institutional to a relational/companionate model. Burgess and Locke (1945) describe how, in the past, the unity of family life was shaped in relation to the formal authority of the law, tradition, public opinion and ritual, and a rigid disciplinary system. By treating ‘marriage’ and ‘the family’ as social institutions, family practices are organised and understood in relation to particular external standards and values. In contrast, the emergence of a new family form—the companionate family—saw interpersonal relations between spouses as the linchpin of family life. Stone (1979) discusses how an early rise in relational/companionate marriage began in the 18th Century (particularly among the upper and middle classes), when future spouses started to have more freedom to choose marriage partners for themselves. Many of these young people put the prospect of emotional satisfaction before the ambition for increased income or status. This, in turn, helped to equalise relationships between husband and wife. Partners began to address each other in more affectionate terms and were more likely than before to set up home on their own, away from their families. A ‘honeymoon’ period during which the young couples were left to get to know each other sexually and emotionally became an accepted ritual. Whilst the value attached to equality and sharing in modern marriage has certainly increased in the last 50 years, behaviour within marriage is still highly influenced by the institutional model of marriage. In particular, the reality of married life continues to be one of relative inequality around domestic duties. Although women’s participation in paid work has greatly increased during the 20th and current Century, this has not been matched by an increase in men’s participation in household and caring work. The relational changes between men and women can be seen in terms of ‘lagged adaptation’, whereby men have been slower to respond to the changes in women’s attitudes and practices. It is important to bear in mind that the ‘institutional’ and ‘relational’ models of marriage are ideal types: modern marriages usually contain elements of both. Economics, for example, play an important part in the processes and negotiations of married life, if not in the initial choice of partner. Similarly, historians and family researchers express skepticism about whether the modern marital relationship is inspired entirely by private romantic ideals. Weddings, for instance, represent an important way for couples to add public recognition to their personal commitment. Over the life cycle of a marriage, relational or institutional elements are likely to predominate at different times. In the early years, when romantic love is at a peak, the relational form may be more pronounced. After the arrival of children, marriages usually undergo changes which more accurately reflect institutional marriage. Domestic chores become increasingly segregated along gender lines, wider family such as grandparents become more involved in the young family’s life, and the presence of children means that the State starts to take more interest in the private world of the couple. After children leave home the marriage may move back to a more companionate form, with the couple devoting more time to each other—with increased longevity this period can last up to 30 years.

His or her marriage:

Married women talk about ‘togetherness’ in marriage and sharing a ‘common life’ with their husbands (by this they mean sharing interests and time with their partner). Men, on the other hand, maintain a concept of togetherness that contains elements of traditional marriage. They are more likely to emphasise the importance of knowing that a wife can be a source of support if necessary, and are less likely to stress the need to have time for talking together. Young husbands’ views of togetherness have more to do with geographical than emotional closeness (Mansfield and Collard, 1988). It is possible that the women’s movement has been an important catalyst in the progress towards an increasingly strong emphasis on equality and sharing in marriage. Women seem to have moved towards the relationship model of marriage earlier and at greater speed than men.

Marriage from the Hindus Point of view:

Marriage among the Hindus is a sacrament since time immemorial; it is almost obligatory and unavoidable for an average Hindu. Every Hindu is committed to marriage, as it is regarded as a great sacrament.

With the marriage sacrament, husband and wife enter Grihasthashrama to establish family life. The basic aim of marriage is dharma for it is necessary for fulfillment of number of moral duties. The desire to have progeny is also regarded as one of the sacred purposes of Hindu marriage. To attain moksha, every Hindu male must have a son behind him to perform the rites at his funeral pyre and to perform parental obligations. Such a son must be from his marriage and not illicit relationships. This was considered as a social duty towards the family and community. Thus, the prime goal in a marriage was to become united in purpose and spirit.

There are certain rites which must take place to complete a Hindu marriage. The three main rites associated with marriage are: offerings to the sacred fire, taking of the hand of the bride and taking of the seven steps around the fire by bride and bridegroom together. During the nuptial ceremony in a Vedic marriage, both the bride and the bridegroom take oath for the practice of self-restraint, to work together for the welfare of the family and to help each other to attain spiritual peace. Lastly, marriage is given a status of life-long companionship by the society. This lofty ideal of sanctity is a great gift of Hinduism to the world at large. Marriage holds much importance for a woman, as observed by K.M.Kapadia, that it is the only sacrament that can be performed by her. It involves sacrifices on the part of both. So, it is indissoluble, as the bond of marriage once tied can never be broken, eternal – a relationship for seven births and religious, which can be said to be complete only on the performance of certain rites by a Brahmin.

The Hindu Marriage Act, 1956 by permitting divorce, whether by court or by the parties through mutual consent, has allowed the institution to loose its permanence. The Widow’s Remarriage Act, 1856 has changed the notion of pativrata. Modernization has allowed the differences to creep in men and women’s expectations from a marriage, by entrusting women with double roles, both inside and outside home. Dr.Thara Srinivasan, Marriage Counsellor and Director, Schizophrenia Research Foundation, Chennai (SCARF), observed that the strong bondage is loosening and marriage is no longer held to be a “divine match” or a “sacred union”. Further, she found that there is disenchantment with the system of arranged marriages and a reluctance to “take the matrimonial plunge.” She added that marriage must be regarded as a life-long process of cementing a relationship in the face of several adversities and an ongoing process of physical and emotional accommodation, sharing and loving.

All imitation marriages, which are flourishing are leading to erosion of values in matrimonial life and increase in the instability in relationships. If the trend towards living-together arrangements gains momentum, tense relationships between children and parents could develop and problems in dividing parenting responsibilities may increase. They accompany with themselves lack of respect and integrity for each other. The only advantage that can be predicted is that the partners are free from the pain of separating or continuing a painful relationship.

There is increase in the number of extra-marital relationships, including open gay and lesbian relationships, a delay in the age of getting married and more egalitarian gender-role attitudes among men and women, where norms and values have been totally restructured. In 1993, Popenoe characterized marriage as more flexible and as a path towards self-fulfillment – a voluntary relationship that people can make or break at will. A study of historical traditions of religion may help in understanding the importance of marriage. The institution of marriage must be accorded recognition and accepted, as it enjoys social recognition and cultural support in Hindu society. As a beautifully sculpted institution, soaked in the acute deep and careful understanding of human nature, a samaskar must continue the way it has been for centuries by recognizing its ever-increasing role in the society.

CONCLUSION:

Over time, marriage has remained a great social institution though from time to time its significance and utility in the context of different societies have changed. Nevertheless, even where husbands and wives are given the greatest sexual latitude, marriage is always considered important and is clearly distinguished from nonmarital unions. That is to say, generally speaking, it hardly matters how people arrange, maintain, or modify their marriages, as long as they get married at all. The details may differ from one culture to another, from one generation to another, but the inherent principle is nowhere in doubt: Marriage as such is good and must be supported. It also must be proclaimed and made visible to outsiders. For instance, in certain societies married persons are permitted or obliged to dress in a more "dignified" manner than spinsters and bachelors. By the same token, the marital state often carries particular privileges and is celebrated with splendid wedding ceremonies or sumptuous nuptials. These celebrations themselves usually follow some preordained pattern and require their own kind of clothing. In short, there seems to be something special about marriage which makes it different from any other human relationship, and which calls for some public acknowledgment.

All of this indicates that marriage serves more than private personal needs, and that it does not exist for the benefit of the spouses alone. Instead, an obvious social interest is involved. It is further obvious that this interest affects not only the form, but also the meaning of marriage, and that the latter can therefore be understood only if one considers both its individual and social aspects.

Received on 26.09.2011

Accepted on 20.10.2011